Meet the Hollowheads - Vern's Reviews on the Films of Cinema Vern's Reviews on the Films of Cinema
GUEST REVIEW: MEET THE HOLLOWHEADS () Otherwise, such a world is simply 'How about I wear this suit to court, Mr. Soprano?. The Canadian badasses of TV series Trailer Park Boys are coming to Metro Vancouver on April 4. It's your opportunity to meet your favourite. Watch John Glover Featured Trailers by MovieTrailer. Assault at West Point: The Court-Martial of Johnson Whittaker Trailer Meet the Hollowheads Trailer.
The link was good too. This is one of them. It's nauseatingly gross, too self-consciously wacky to make fun of, and the jokes are awful. There's a 20 minute stretch in the middle where it's too dark to see what's happening. There's a creepy near-rape scene that comes out of nowhere. I've seen a lot of "worst movie ever" nominees, and I've found most of them enjoyable in some way or another, but watching Meet the Hollowheads is a truly unpleasant experience. What, pray tell, is the other one?
It took me two separate attempts to get through Gummo. The first time inoculated me, but I also needed some months to recover the IQ points it cost me.
If you're serious, Lisa Morton has e-mail listed on her website and I'll try to nudge her into joining in. It would be like the DVD commentary track that never was! I've always known Lisa as one of the proprietors of the Illiad Bookshopone of Los Angeles' largest and finest used bookstores. As for Gummo and its less charismatic cousin Trash Humpers, which I survived a few weeks agothe fact that it's so in-your-face deliberately gross and awful gives me a sort of grim determination to finish, and at the end I can say "well, that was horrible, so I guess it did its job.
Does anyone know which version is available through Netflix? I have never made it through Eraserhead all the way but I don't hate on David Lynch. Netflix is streaming a version that their site claims is PG!
Seriously though, fuck Gummo. Where has it been all my life? This one looks on a slight notch below Gummitude, but definitely more dizzying and highly annoying than anything outside of Eraserhead.
Of course, I've also seen Trapped in the Closet, which had me deadpanning "No. I'm still uncertain whether I'll try to track it down and watch it. As for Gummo, it's been a few years since I watched it but I don't remember it being that horrible or disturbing.
I think I even enjoyed parts of it. Trash Humpers on the other hand, which I saw just a couple of months ago, was more or less unwatchable. At one point I wandered down to the store to pick up beer, came back and realized it was still going, but the exact same nothing was happening. Curious to now where you guys would rank movies like Holy Mountain and El Topo in this little subculture of bizarre cinema, cause I thought those were both fantastic films.
Yes, I know it isn't Gummo, or Human Centipede, or even Big Momma's House, but it still lists a major portion of the cast as "Jed Buell's Midgets," as if they were property instead of human beings.
Lots of people think of it as "So bad it's funny," but I couldn't finish it.
Meet "Meet The Hollowheads" | MetaFilter
Now, before your brain becomes awash with sadness over my apparent tube and hole deficiency, think about how limited your tube and hole situation is. Pretty grim, isn't it? On the bright side, I do have a hole that causes unwanted fecal matter to magically disappear with the flick of a slightly effeminate wrist. And that's not all, I also have access to this tube-like entity that allows me to look at pictures of Shelley Duvall whenever I want.
Of course, what I do with my excrement while looking at photos of the lithesome actress is none of your business. My point is, what if we lived in a universe where our every need was taken care of by a series of holes connected to tubes? Well, in the stain-covered realm where Life on the Edge a. Opening with a shot of the structural makeup of an unnamed subterranean macrocosm, the camera enters a large, grimy a tube, and we're quickly sucked into the state-of-the-art kitchen of Miriam Hollowhead Nancy Mettea dedicated mother, a subtle leg tease, and a master when it comes to handling flexible cylinders under pressure.
Working hard to prepare a consumable meal for her husband, Henry Hollowhead John Glovera meter reader voted best meter reader in his district three cycles in a row, and his boss, Marty Crabneck Richard Portnowthe pantyhose-inhaling CEO of United Umbilical, Miriam is shocked to discover that some of her tubes have become blocked, seriously jeopardizing her dinner plans. She hopes to rectify this problem being sending her son, Billy Hollowhead Matt Shakmanalong with his mischievous pal Joey Joshua John Millerout to get more ingredients the latter is currently spraying the walls of Billy's room with coagulated insect blood at the nearest pumping station.
However, this means the two youngsters have to venture out near the edge, a pitch black netherworld that may or may not contain an edge a missing classmate of theirs is rumoured to have fallen off the edge. Penetrating the darkness with a playful yet reluctant glee, they finally arrive at the pumping station only to find a Reamer Lee Arenberg yelling orders at a bunch of Reamers they're in charge of keeping the tubes clean, and do so via the brush-like bristles they wear around their waists.
After having some fun at the Reamer's expense, Billy and Joey run into Babbleaxe Anne Ramseya bigwig at tube central, who furnishes them with enough brackish water to fill up eight to ten festering pustules. Meanwhile, back at casa de Hollowhead, Cindy Hollowhead Juliette LewisMiriam and Henry Hollowhead's succulent teenage daughter rumour has it, her pussy tastes like candyis trying to focus on an upcoming social function of some importance.
After applying her make-up using her wall-mounted make-up mask it shoots lipstick, eyeliner, rouge, mascara, and blush onto her face through a series of tubesit's obvious that Cindy is finding the strain of adolescence too much to bear. She attempts to work through some of these issues by employing a totally awesome dress up montage. But, unfortunately, Billy catches her while she's in the middle of practicing her sexy voice in her bedroom mirror.
Using the feeding of their basement-dwelling grandfather as a bargaining chip, Billy promises not to tell anyone about her mirror antics if she agrees to administer his meals for the next three terms. Why, that's an odd way of putting it. This, however, should come as no surprise, as every action in Life on the Edge is performed in a somewhat off-kilter manner. And the feeding of the elderly is no different. After navigating an ominous-looking hallway ninety-nine percent of the corridors in the Hollowhead household contain properties that are ominous in natureCindy comes to a door that leads to some kind of boiler room.
Once inside, she walks towards a dishevelled man strapped to a dentist chair. When she's done making sure that his bib is on securely, Cindy lifts up a giant syringe and proceeds to inject the senile old coot with enough sustenance to last him until the next term.
As she began to attach the syringe to his feeding tube, my eyes began to widen when I noticed that the liquified sludge masquerading as food inside Cindy's syringe was in fact iridescent.
We have iridescent sludge in a syringe! Truth be told, it's the only reason I watch movies anymore, and there it was, shimmering in its translucent housing like a deformed baby taking a well-deserved nap on a bed of radioactive hair curlers.
Even though I feel like a pathetic pipe seed for asking, but is it okay if I use this space to describe the outfits Cindy tries on during her totally awesome dress up montage?
Well, gosh golly, you scuzzy pumpsucker, my tubes are flusher than a recently molested apricot. Anxious to look her best for the party, Cindy tries on five outfits to the apt strains of " I Feel Good About Myself ," a catchy ditty written by Glenn A. Jordan and sung by Mendy Lee. Starting things off with a super-tight pink and black checkerboard dress with striped sleeves, Cindy, her legs encased in black pantyhose, practices arching her back and thrusting the uncertainty-laden contents of her still developing vaginal expanse in front of the full-length located in her bedroom.
The next article of clothing to rub up against her maidenly skin is a silver ballerina-style dress covered with sequins. While modeling this particular garment, Cindy pretends that the playful extensions she's added to her hair are, in actuality, part of her face a girl's desire to have a mustache is perfectly normal, as it shows that they're itching to mature.